Over the Hedge

They say life imitates art. If that's the case, then Matt and I truly are the real life version of the animated movie "Over the Hedge." In case you haven't seen it, it's a pretty funny movie about a bunch of animals (squirrels, raccoons, turtles, etc) that "take over" a suburban neighborhood in a hunt for food. Of course it's a kids movie since that's the majority of what we watch nowadays, so most of you reading this (if anyone actually does read this that is) probably have not seen it.

Anyway, this morning at 4:45 AM I was startled awake by Guinness going completely nuts in our kitchen/dining room area. I was actually jarred awake by the sound of Reagan's play kitchen being slammed into the wall, and all of the metal pots/pans/dishes, etc slamming onto the ground. Once my heart started beating again, I jumped (okay, lumbered) out of bed to let him "take a break." Grumbling all the way, I threw the sliding glass door open and Guinness tore out of the house like I've never seen before. He raced to the side of the house barking all the way. I immediately realized he didn't have to "take a break," and that something was in our yard. Guinness just as quickly tears back around, and comes right up to the wooden steps barking like crazy. He jammed his big furry head between the slats and got it wedged in there. I was starting to freak out now... I had to save Big Boy, yet there was "Something" out there and we ALL know that I am NOT a big fan of wild animals. I very quickly stepped out and pulled him out, ran back in and slammed the door. Guinness was desperately trying to get whatever it was under our stairs. I was secretly impressed that our dog may actually be a good watch dog after all! I always wondered what he'd do if his family were being "attacked."

It was at this time that I knew I needed help. Thank God Matt works in town, AND answered his phone. This was certainly no time for him to actually be saving people when WE needed him at home :) When Matt got there, Guinness really started going crazy. Matt comes around to the back of the house with his flashlight and the stick they use to corral crazy dogs (which apparently is used to corral any animal!). There I am in my maternity pj's that are wayyy too loose in some areas, and wayyyy too tight in others. I realize I'm quite the sight and secretly hope Matt doesn't have "back up." Lo and behold, not only does he have a trainee with him, but she is the SMALLEST girl I have ever seen. I mean, I thought I was tiny when I was in college.... Guinness definitely outweighs this girl (sorry, this woman.)

Now I'm thinking "Great, there's a wild animal under our stairs, Matt's out there with some stick and what the hell is he going to do if he actually catches this thing, and what is this little girl going to do if Matt is attacked by it?" Cause again, we all know that I wasn't about to go out there if this animal attacked!

Matt quickly confirmed it was indeed a raccoon under the stairs. We were able to bribe Guinness to come inside with promises of chicken. (My first sign that Guinness really isn't a good watchdog. He quickly gives up the chase at the mere mention of chicken!) After several minutes, and feeble attempts to lure the raccoon out, Matt gave up and came inside. It was then he told me it was a TINY baby raccoon!! So, there went ALL thoughts of Guinness being a big bad watchdog! Ha ha....

We were very thankful that it wasn't a big raccoon though - Guinness would most definitely have been on the losing end of that fight.

This episode comes about a month after a raccoon came to the slider late one night and tapped on it while Matt was watching tv. We then thought this raccoon moved in underneath the house. Then, last Sunday as we were eating dinner, another (or the same) raccoon was staring into our yard from the back fence. He (or she) and Matt had a stare down, and after much "hissing" on Matt's part, this bugger finally went back into the park. Also recently, Matt was in the park while working one night. He and a co-worker were talking, standing maybe 5 feet apart. A skunk apparently walked right in between them and went on it's way. Soooo... I fear the animals are no longer scared of us.. yet I still fear and loathe them. Who needs to go camping when you live in South City??